So even though I live in the campo (farmlands), I am lucky enough to pick up just enough internet signal for me to use internet in my house. Given that I have to search around my house with my laptop in my hand plugging in and taking out my modem stick to find the signal. Then I narrow it down till I find reliable internet in whatever spot its in. Right now that is on my fridge in my kitchen and near my front door where I put a desk chair.
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| Laptop missing form this example. |
For some strange reason, every week and a half or so my reliable spots stop being reliable and I have to do the whole process all over again. I could also just go outside and the signal is almost always great but then i end up doing this.. (picture to come) which is a little awkward and not so suitable at night. But sometimes its like having a really spacious office with a great view and bad glare.
Anyway, I end up using Facebook a lot because it is free with my modem service (doesn't use data) and it really is my connection to home and friends. Which brings me to it and my brother.
Being in Peace Corps isn't the easiest thing and even though my bros and family were never the touchie feelie type ( no hugs, kisses, i love yous... my parents send me an email once every month or so asking if im alive) it would be cool to hear from my bros every now and then. After all we are all tech savvy clones.
I recently asked one of my brothers to help me out with some college transcript stuff seeing as I was in rural Paraguay and he was in the Silicon Valley. Already George had almost never contacted me by phone, email, Facebook or video chat. This is how our exchange went.
Aug 19: (Email)Richard So
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 Aug 19
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George,
I need you to do this. The information for the form is as follows and you can fax it to them. The first place they need to send a copy to is our home. 1 copy is fine. I need to also know if my study abroad in South Africa is an official part of my transcript. I will need your help asking Vassar to send more transcripts out in the near future. Please get vassar to send out the transcript to home as soon as possible bec i also need to know what my GPA was lol.
-I heard nothing from my brother despite numerous Facebook and email contact attempts resulting in the following...
Oh look! you posted a cute pic of you and chia. How cute. The i messaged you about 30 seconds later to ask if you had completed the simple but vital transcript I asked you to do. But you know, no big deal, just my future we are talking about. No biggie. #brotherfailmore
- this post was applauded by friends with no response from my brother George.
- A day passes...
Day Two: As I continue my meager existence here in the unforgiving and cold Paraguayan countryside, approximately 20 hours have past since my distress beacon to my ever attentive and loyal brother George. I have yet to hear back and, as my requested task is simple and non-time consuming, I can only imagine that the lack of a timely response is telling of tragedy, that the worst has befallen my other third. Perhaps he has been dispatched to war or been gravely injured. I wait ever so hopefully for news of your whereabouts my brother.
-4 hrs pass and...
George So Day Two: I close my eyes and rub them slowly, hoping that when I open them, something...anything might happen to take me away from this hell on earth. No luck. I strain and squint my eyes at three irritatingly bright 23" screens. They bathe my face in a cold artificial light. My $100 wireless ergonomic mouse and keyboard flex under my hands as i adjust myself in my overly priced chair. Carly Rae Jepson is playing from my bluetooth wireless headset as I toss my empty Smartwater bottle into the recycling. Should I have a Snapple next? Vitamin Water? Maybe a Coke? Life has been hard at work. Lunch today was Panera sandwiches with "gourmet" salads, fresh baked cookies and soft baguettes. I had a Turkey BLT and a Napa Almond Chicken Salad sandwhich. They use WAY too much mayo and the cookies weren't even warm. Gross. Approximately 20 hours have passed since my brother Richard partying in Paraguay ordered me to do something because he was lazy. He doesn't get how hard it is here. Today, they ran out of beef jerky and I had to eat wasabi peas instead! Then I had to switch conference rooms because someone double booked the room! Unbelievable. I can only imagine that my brother must be so often belligerently drunk and irresponsible that he had to request that I aid him in this simple task. Perhaps he is exhausted from his conquering of females. I wait ever so hopefully for a moment of respite from my slavish work in which I can, as I have so often, save Richard from his life of unbridled perverse and gluttonous behavior.August 27 at 7:36pm ·
- I respond....
Richard So Day 2.5: Attempts to study GRE are futile as hands cease to function in the frigid night air. Despite dawning much of my wardrobe in a hail marry to fight the cold, scratching out math problems has become daunting and essay writing near impossible. Only a single layer of brick separates me from the biting South wind which travels south to north from the Antarctic tundra, its chilling gusts sending even the most hardened Paraguayan farmers cowering for refuge under layers of insufficient and meager blankets. Today the village bus did not come, shattering hopes of buffering my pathetic diet with fresh fruit and vegetables. Having run out of meat, fruit, and vegetables early last week, I have become desperate. My fridge looks depressingly empty yet deceivingly full, filled with eclectic sauces utterly useless without primary ingredients. Experiments mixing bread or white rice with chili sauce have been disappointing. In spite of futility, I periodically open the fridge as if my efforts will somehow materialize an onion or ounce of meat I somehow missed before. I settle in for another night of ramen and a concoction of rice, tomato and siracha sauce that I have come to adore. In more idyllic times, it was mixed with,(on gluttonous occasions meat) but normally onions, a bit of soy sauce, and eggs to recreate a sliver of resemblance to Hong Kong style tomato pork chop rice. Just the mention of the dish makes me salivate greedily. As my gas canisters runs nearly empty and my cooking oil already depleted, I have little more than ramen to go on. I must get to town. Carly Rae Jepson's Good Times reverberates quietly from my laptop in the other room, a cruel, sarcastic taunt. As I frantically rub my hands, my mind wanders to fresh salads and deli sandwiches, food I never appreciated before. Beef jerky and wasabi peas both not only delicious but enticing because of their easy storage and prolonged shelf life. They could be rationed out almost indefinitely, giving me a forgotten taste to be savored just a bit each day. It is times like these I pray for the coming Paraguayan summer; a double edged sword, bringing welcomed warmth as well as sweltering inescapable heat and humidity flanked by swarms of mosquitoes and other pests. Dengue will make its return as will other parasites, some that dwell in the feet causing pain and infection, others entering through the feet and residing in the intestine causing diarrea, fatigue and pain.
Considering it all, it is all too tempting to drown myself in cana, the choice drink of alcoholics here but the bottle remains, level unchanged as I persist onward. Today I bought some eggs from a neighbor as well as some fresh garlic. Its a start.
I hope this message reaches you in good time my brother as I hear you are suffering from your own tremendous tribulations. I can only imagine the suffering you must be enduring and can only hope this message reveals that you are not alone.
Bear Grills says that clapping your hands, can return life saving circulation to near frostbiten hands. Although painful, its a small price to pay if it prevents losing a finger. The technique is effective but its benefits short lived. Typing has become too difficult. Until next time my brother.
Considering it all, it is all too tempting to drown myself in cana, the choice drink of alcoholics here but the bottle remains, level unchanged as I persist onward. Today I bought some eggs from a neighbor as well as some fresh garlic. Its a start.
I hope this message reaches you in good time my brother as I hear you are suffering from your own tremendous tribulations. I can only imagine the suffering you must be enduring and can only hope this message reveals that you are not alone.
Bear Grills says that clapping your hands, can return life saving circulation to near frostbiten hands. Although painful, its a small price to pay if it prevents losing a finger. The technique is effective but its benefits short lived. Typing has become too difficult. Until next time my brother.August 27 at 8:34pm ·
- one of my best friends jumps in ....
Solomon Day 3: As I sit sheltered from the blistering Los Angeles sun, eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos with my beloved Christine, I read your melancholy tales out loud like a ballad, tales of your trials and tribulations amidst radically different dystopias. One third, lost in a developing age where food scarcity, disease, and the environment dictate human behavior. Another third, equally lost as a cog in the developed machine, disillusioned by trivial matters of the office. The final third, somewhere in the oblivion of medical school from which he will not emerge victorious for another decade. Indeed, like the polar body of a fertilized egg, I observe as the fourth party, a byproduct of Meiosis II, fearing the inevitable lure of pregnancy or miscarriage as society propels us forward towards no good end.
Still, as I have learned from the parable of Nolan’s damn fantastic Batman, the night is darkest before the dawn. There will be a time when the three parts (and this polar body) are united once more! And when they are one, as the “3 Ninjas” (1992) taught our generation, three ropes tied together are unbreakable. Then, no game will be unconquerable, no beverage left untouched, no cup left unturned, we will win the World Series! Unless, of course, you’re Harvey Dent in which case the darkest night really is the end… or you use a sharp object to cut ropes tied together instead of trying to rip those ropes apart. Then all is lost.August 28 at 6:03pm ·
-2 days pass with still no contact....
Day 4: 1 day.. no problem, 2 days.. alright 3 days... uh. 4 days. Really? .... 10 days after my original request..... action must be taken.
Dear George So, CC: Phillip So
This is the address we have under your contact information although numerous efforts to contact you have gone unanswered and/or ignored. This letter has been sent to inform you of your due negligence of your innate responsibilit
ies as part of the So Triplets.
The following outlines your negligence:
1.On multiple occasions you were asked to do nominal tasks with minimal effort necessary but were unable to do so nor in a timely manner.
2.You have continued to show apathy and laziness in regards to supporting both of your brothers in their times of need.
3.Numerous notifications of your poor performance have been issued without change of behavior.
4. You have made promises and broken them. (Pretty sure you said you would buy the Bro Code and that Wong Fu movie)
These are the most serious offenses not including the pervasive general lack of concern. Although I have yet to consult with Phillip, I believe he would find these charges warranted and mirrored on his end.
As a result, I have no choice but to issue a final warning that you immediately improve your behavior or risk an emergency meeting of the tribal council where your fate will be determined and where we may also decide on the possible promotion of non blood related friends to honorary status (cough .. Solomon Lee cough cough)
In everlasting brotherhood,
Richard So
-Responses...
